Lost my sight?

I feel so dumb, but not sure why. What was wrong? Was it my timing? I really think he deserved to know. Why? not sure, but i am glad he does, but it is so complicated. There is his crap, and my crap, and i just wish that it all made sense. Why can't it be drama-less? OH well what is done is done. i just wish i knew what he meant, i wasn't thinking i won the blue ribbon but i dont even get the red, heck what am i brown (8th), do i even rank at all? if i am not 2nd best then what the hadies am i? I know its not first choice or things would be different.



moving on.... I was reading lyrics and this caught my eye... i love it.

If i could see, by HTD

You are too far from me
I can't see your face
I'm barely breathing
The image of you scattered on my mind
I can't see your clearly
Never thought I'd be this far from you
If I could only feel you near
If I could only see you clearly
Alone, nobody hears my cry
If I could only see you clearly
Feeling you near is up to me
I know these thoughts have made me far away from you
I know I need you
I know I need you
To make me whole
To bring me back
To make me whole
I know I need you
I know I need you
You're my only hope
If I could feel you near
I need you now
Never thought I'd be this far from you
If I could feel you near
If I could see you clearly
Alone, nobody hears my cry
If I could see your clearly
Feeling you near is up to me
Alone, nobody hears my cry
Feeling you near is up to me
Never thought I'd be this far from you
If I could only feel you near
If I could see you clearly
Alone, nobody hears my cry
If I could only see you clearly
Feeling you near is up to me

i am crazy...

... or maybe just dumb. Foolish to think i could talk to you about you.... but no.

There is no more you, only her. I asked about YOU cause i give a shit about you, not her. If i wanted to know how she was i would have asked "hey how is she?" not "how was your day?"



Just leave me alone please. Dont try to tell me i matter to you... you have proven time and time again that while i may matter in some areas, they are very small and i am more often over looked.



I spend so much time thinking about you, and i know you spend that time thinking about her... last night i tried to think of who on earth could possibly think of me as much as i think of you (much like I and you). Not one person came to mind.



There is probably only one person reads this, but i am not really talking to you, just so you know..... I am just using you.... *sigh* tis to late.... but i think you (the reader) get what i mean.

questioning

I dont mind the questions, they are healthy.

I will say a prayer for you, and shed some tears, then dream of you as your heart breaks so does mine.

I don't know what to tell you, for there are no words, no amount of knowledge, i feel so helpless, all i can do is sit here, and watch you strangle youself with the chains you not only made yourself, but willing put on.



I wish i could help.


I wish you knew how much i care, how much i love you.