honesty... why

"So you can stop caring as you call it
And I'll be fine right here

You can't hear what I'm not saying
And I can hold out long enough
Treading water, I keep from sinking
I'm not one for reaching

You see that I can play a pretty convincing role
Well I don't need you
I don't think I need you

But you see through my forever lies
And you are not believing"


I know i should be honest but whats the point. We both know im hurting
and the details wont help you at all... so why should i tell you
anything? Everytime i look into your eyes i see consern for me. I know
that my pain causes you pain as well...  How can i tell you anything
when i know it causes you pain?

*sigh*

So many people i know struggle with self image problems. Mostly it is just the way they look. "im not pretty enough" or whatever..... but me? Honestly i will admit that i am pretty.... there are days when i feel ugly, sure... and days where i feel beautiful... but for the most part i really dont care how i look. However..... i feel like crap. I look at myself as a person and see this horrible brat. I am very unlovable and have a hedious temper that bites anyone who gets too close to me. Any guy would take a "ugly" girl if she was smart and funny and "had a good personality" but who cares how you look when your not a nice person?

Another song

*again note the bold... tis bolded for a reason*


Summer Shudder
by AFI

Listen when I say
When I say it’s real
Real life goes undefined
Why must you be so missable?
Everything you take
Makes it more unreal
Real lines are undefined, how can this be so miserable?

Under the summer rain
I burned away
Under the summer rain
Oh
You turned away

Listen, I can't make
Make a sound or feel
Feel fine, I kissed the lies
Why must they be so kissable?
Listen as I break
Break the fourth wall's seal
Gorgeous eyes shine suicide
When will we be invisible?

Under the summer rain
I burned away
Under the summer rain
Oh
We burned away
Under the summer rain
I burned away
Under the summer rain
You turned away

This is the fall, this is the long way down
And our lives look smaller now
And our lives look so small
This is the fall, this is the long way down
And our lives look smaller now
And our lives look so small

Under the summer rain
I burned away
Under the summer rain
We burned away
Under the summer rain
I burned away
Under the summer rain
We burned away
Under the summer rain
I burned away
Under the summer rain
You turned away

Great song

This is an amazing song... (the bold part is what i need to remember)



When Everything Falls~ by Haste the Day

I can see it comin' on the horizon
Sky turning black, it's raining down
Can't move my feet, cannot be shaken
Not movin', I'm standing strong

I'm standing firm
i can't be moved
I'm standing so firm
I can't be moved

I will stand(x2)
When everything falls away
I will fight this war forever
Or until I die
I will stand(x2)
When everyone falls away
I will fight this war forever
Or until I die

All these things coming against me 
I have the choice to fall or fight 
I cannot be moved 
You give me the strength 
Help me fight, help me fight 

I'm standing so firm
I can't be moved
I'm standing so firm
I can't be moved

I will stand(x2)
When everything falls away
I will fight this war forever
Or until I die
I will stand(x2)
When everyone falls away
I will fight this war forever
Or until I die

I will stand(x2)
When everything falls away
I will fight this war forever
Or until I die
I will stand(x2)
When everyone falls away
I will fight this war forever
Or until I die

And I'm standing so firm
On this ground you've sat before me
I'll fight for this with my last breath
I'll fight for this till I die
I can't be moved(x2)

This makes three

So i have too many blogs, but this one will be randomish thoughts. I mainly got it so i can comment on friend's blogs. I am not sure how often this will be used but time will tell.