Punishment?

Maybe its just human nature but how can i not feel like God is punishing me.

Whenever i let something be so important i make hard, fast serious plans they all fall apart like its my fault. I can never want anything. Never. The second i let things with this wedding become important i lose them.


Everything is falling apart. It has to be my fault. I wanted things to go a certain way and now i have no idea what the hell im gonna do. Its all falling apart and the little details only matter to me.



I hate myself all over again.