letting go

i know i have to do it, but it hurts. He has been apart of my life forever.... and i dont want to just let him go... i would atlest like a gradual relase but no.... he is already gone, and theres nothing i can do about it. I know he dosent see it like me. He cant see how far we've grown apart. I thought he knew me.... he really doesnt cause if he did he'd know that it WOULD bother me... the fact he didnt give me anything more than a "happy birthday" but gave her all that i wanted. attention, a little gift and hey im sure he wont have any trouble buy her a card. The thing that bothers me the most is i know that SHE is his new favorite girl.... and why not? heck if i had a boy friend wouldnt i go out of my way to do stuff for him that i wouldnt for my brother? Isnt it normal for a man to love his girl more than his sister? This is my problem... i need to let him go.... let her have him, not that she deserves him... not by a long shot. But this means Ben needs to understand he might have to cope too... when someone "finally" pursues me.