i remember the first.... he was adorable, kind, and always smilled. My parents loved him, he was the perfect guy. She had red hair, was also sweet and so far above me there was no way to compete. For a short time i thought i had a chance... but no. Not compared to her. Most of my life i was asked by others "why cant you be more like Amy?" I so wanted to be her... if only to be loved.
Then there was the other guy... I liked him better with long hair. He was not really all that pleasant. But i fell anyways. She also had red hair but what is more she was sweet, kind, had good taste in music, and was an artist. After they met i didnt have a chance in hell.
Now again... i can say... he is a ass... but a very amazing ass. She dosent have red hair.. but she will "please" him. So she wins. He has given her his heart and that means i lose again. Three times i get there just too late! I must say though this is the first time i lost to someone i really didnt like, or atlest get along with. i mean i can look at the red heads and see... yeah they kick ass.. i am nothing compared to them... but her... to tell myself that she is better than me. That i deserve to lose to her... I know i shouldnt compare myself to others but tell me, would you do anything differently? im not what he wants.... i cant blame anyone for that.. i know... but i just.... i dont like her... and he loves her... and if she is sooooo much better than i. how am i suppose to feel about myself?
Am i just basing my self worth on how he sees me?
IF the person you loved, or cared deeply for, loved someone you didnt like.. how would you handle it? wouldnt you start to question? Its late and i shouldnt think when its this late. I end up being too emo.
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Hi Ferrari,
I'm not a girl, as the name probably gives away! Are you a Christian? The only reason I came to your blog was through a comment you left on A Christian friend's blog.
Love is a fickle thing, my daughter looks through the catalogue and she wants this thing, she has to have it, but it's too expensive. So she wants this other thing and then another thing. We are all the same. We call it a "want muscle" mine is usually focussed on chocolate!! The more we exercise the want muscle the stronger it gets.
It doesn't help that evrything inside the body and outside the body is lining up to say that a girl of a certain age should find love. However, and this is why I ask if you are a Christian, the Bible syas, "Do not lean on your own understanding, but trust in the Lord." God has a perfect partner for you. If you are not a Christian then trust that the right guy for you will feel the same way about you as you do for him.
My advice to my daughter will be, if a guy is prepared to wait for you, then he is a guy worth having, if not, then don't expect anything out!
I hope that doesn't come across as lame!
Richard
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