lol ok really why am i awake and why do i suddenly at 3 am get it?
I will admit it, i read new moon (it was a year before the first movie was out, so ha!) . It bothered me, and ripped me apart... i hated how wishy washy Bella was... how she couldnt make up her mind (like what David was doing to me). But it hit me... that might not be the only reason i wanted to cry when Edward vanished from her life... All her pictures of him, the music he gave her, it all vanished, like he never was there..... Sounds a bit to familar... Our pictures are gone... she took them all down. Not that its supprising i guess. She got rid of me and all of us, Jason, Amy, Sten, Kate, she hugged me and said bye and left forever- i think she knew she'd never see me again.
It hurts so much that she wants to forget me... she wants me to go away. I still cant let her go and i hate that... she was my friend... its worse then a death- cause its a choice... a willful act.
I think i could deal better if i knew why.... i dealt with Jere leaving, and Josiah, and Dan (who i dont know if he ever saw me as a friend), i can deal with losing touch, but people who just want to drop me and not say why.... not tell me what happened... i know it will torture me till either i die and i get my answer from God or she finally tells me. :(
Oh wells- i think its hitting me hard cause im writting that list of girls i want with me (you know the one Sten) and she was suppose to be on it.... now she wont even make the guest list- im not even wasting the postage "just in case".
i miss trevor too.... i hate not being with him... its one reason i want to get married... so i can just be there with him... i want to start our life together, i want to be there for him always. i want to be his partner in life, as well as love...
random question to any who reads this.... should i invite my ex? I mean I will invite David cause i want to rub in his face i found someone WAY better then his punk ass, (plus trevor dosent really know about him) But i mean Steven? we are still kinda friends, and i love his mom... she reminds me alot of my grandma... but idk if Trevor will even want me to bring it up... :-/
Thoughts? comments? suggestions?
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1 comment:
I think it would be really awkward if you invited Steven. I know it happens, but it is a little weird. I would give personal examples if this weren't a public place. Ask if you want details :)
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