i am loved

Some realizations from this past week...

I know i am loved. I know i am wanted, but i also know that i am not needed. I dont know if i want to be needed. No one should depend on someone else so strongly as to need them. Yet some part of me wants to be needed, wants someone to depend on me... not in a clingy way but in a.... i dont know.. is there a non-clingy i need you? *deep sigh*

Why is there this false dichotomy in my head? This isnt the only one, there are issues of the heart that need dealing with, and readjusting. I don't know what i want... anymore... there are thoughts and desires, and i know some are good and some are... well they need to change... but with all these conflicting thoughts and feelings and i just feel so messed up. Maybe that cause its so late and i am over emotional with all that is going on right now.... broken promises thrown in my face a lot.

I guess thats just life and i should get over it and stop be emo... right? Everyone goes through this kind of crap so why should i feel bad about it, i need to just grow up and get over myself.