At my church on Wednesday nights there is a program for kids 1st- 5th grade. It started around my 4th grade year. We learned different skills (cooking, how to tie knots, good manners. It changed every month,). At the end of one month we camped out at church, but because it was raning we slept inside. They room was really big so boys where on one side and girls on the other with the shaperons in the middle. I was getting ready for bed, trying not to stare and the cute MK i had a crush on who was just a few feet away. When my focus was broking by a friend exclaiming "WHO'S UNDERWEAR IS THIS!" Now i think you are smart enough to know i wouldn't be posting this if it wasn't mine. I grabed the article of clothing that was for the next day and ran for the bathroom, and cried.
A few weeks ago i was feeling very destructive, and only one emotional breakdown away from cutting again. Someone made a comment that cut me deeper than any blade could have. I left, and cried in the bathroom.
A couple of days ago in youth group we talked about how we handle someone hurting us, ond of the guys said (in the given situation) he would go to the bathroom to cry.... i can relate.
Why is it that the bathroom is a place of solace? A place i can go to where i can cry as much as i want but i cant cry in front of those who i know love me and will accept me? I was cut deep again. No words can tell her how much she hurt me. No scars will do justice... I cried in the bathroom again. This is the third time this SEMESTER i cried in the student center bathroom... Someone stoped me... i thought for sure he'd ask about my eyes, i had an excuse ready too(alergies) but he just wanted to know about getting a job.
i guess if it saves my flesh it really doesn't matter where i cry
**EDIT**
So this song came to me and made me almost cry again...
Jill Philips
I am
oh gently lay your head upon my chest
and I will comfort you like a mother while you rest
the tide can change so fast, but I will stay
the same through past, the same in future, same today
I am constant; I am near
I am peace that shatters all your secret fears
I am holy; I am wise
I'm the only one who knows your heart's desires
your heart's desires
oh weary, tired and worn, let out your sighs
and drop that heavy load you hold 'cause Mine is light
I know you through and through; there's no need to hide
I want to show you love that is deep and high and wide
'cause I am constant; I am near
I am peace that shatters all your secret fears
I am holy; I am wise
I'm the only one who knows your heart's desires
your heart's desires
I am constant; I am near
I am peace that shatters all your secret fears
I am holy; I am wise
I'm the only one who knows your heart's desires
your heart's desires
oh gently lay your head upon my chest
and I will comfort you like a mother while you rest
**End edit**
2 comments:
I've done that more than a few times myself. It's so weird, isn't it?
The other day I was down at Frosty Joes and went up to the bathroom and there was a girl in there crying. I walked out and someone asked me if there was a girl in there, because apparently she had been in there for quite some time.
*thinks*
Perhaps it is because, even IF someone can hear you... they don't really see you. So then you become the anonymous person having a bad day.
Plus... it IS a lot harder to admit to a friend that you have problem then it is to just sit and cry in a place where no one knows you.
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